Some questions to ask regarding night wakes.
Written by Lamis Benjelloun
Sleeping through the night may be the holy grail of parenthood but is it really real ? Can our kids actually sleep from the moment that they put their heads down on the pillow until they wake up in the morning ?
The truth is, no one really sleeps through the night. We all experience night wakings but rarely ever remember them. This is due to the way our sleep is composed. From the moment we lay down, we start moving through sleep cycles. Several of them. And these cycles themselves are made up of different periods of light sleep, deep sleep and REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement). So even as we are sleeping through just ONE cycle, we can have different states of alertness and sleep. The same goes for our babies. So what do we really mean when we say a baby sleeps or doesn’t sleep through the night. This is an important distinction to make because a baby that is experiencing a slight arousal at the end of a sleep cycle does not equate one that is experiencing night wakes that interrupt their own sleep as well as that of their parents.
Today we talk about those night wakes that last longer than a few seconds. There is a number of reasons why they happen and we will explore them together. At the end of reading this, you will hopefully have a checklist that will help you find out why your baby is waking up so much at night.
Where is your child, developmentally?
The first important question we have to ask, if your baby is waking up at night is : is it expected. Babies under the age of 4 months are not developmentally ready to sleep through the night without assistance. This means that they will be up several times at night and will require help from you to go back to sleep. In addition, their circadian rhythms are also not developed yet so their cycles are different to ours : they spend a large portion of their time asleep in what is called “active sleep”. During this time, babies have been known to move, grunt, whimper and cry. So while we may feel like they are awake, they are in fact sleeping and our need to go help them may be the cause for an actual wake up. So the next time you are woken up by a stirring newborn, consider swaddling them and using white noise. Containing them in a cosy swaddle may reduce how much flailing happens in the middle of the night.
Is he or she hungry?
We often default to thinking that every time our baby wakes up at night, it must be because they are hungry. And this is true at first : newborns have immature digestive systems and therefore require frequent feedings, even in the middle of the night. But as they get older, so do their little tummies, which means that they can last longer without a feed. What ends up happening though is that baby gets accustomed to being fed every time they stir at night and come to expect it, even if they are not hungry. This is why I encourage parents to attentively listen to their babies at night : why is baby calling for me at 2 am : is it time for their feed ? Do they need a diaper change ? Or do they just need my comforting touch ?
Medical causes behind night wakes?
Believe it or not, not all night wakes are caused by hunger or habit. Sometimes, there are medical conditions that may waken our little ones. The common flu, teething or any number of discomforts can disturb baby’s sleep but sometimes, less common conditions may be the culprit. Reflux, Eczema and Obstructive Sleep Apnea are ones that come to mind right away but always approach your pediatrician to check that your baby is clear of physical reasons behind their night wakes.
Environmental interruptions?
Where we sleep matters. Light, temperature, sounds, all of these things affect our sleep and they affect our little ones sleep as well. If we promote an environment that is most helpful to our babies’ sleep, they will not be unnecessarily woken up by a chirping bird, a sibling’s trip to the potty, a flickering light from the monitor or a change in temperature in the middle of the night.
Schedule adjustments?
The timing and length of naps, as well as the timing of bedtime are prime indicators of the quality of your night sleep. As you have probably heard before, these three elements can determine whether your child is undertired, overtired or “just right”. Unfortunately for us, both an undertired child and an overtired child will experience night wakes. So perhaps the most important place to look at when evaluating your baby’s night sleep is their daytime sleep.
Where are they falling asleep?
“Most children will sleep well only if there are no surprises, no changes after they sleep, and no need for them to check where they are and where their parents are every time they stir.” – Richard Ferber
This means that baby needs to fall asleep in the same place they wake up, otherwise, they become alarmed and a slight arousal turns into a full wake up. So a baby who falls asleep in mom’s arms will be confused when they find themselves in their crib in the middle of the night. When placing baby in the crib awake and aware of their sleep location, they will be able to situate themselves if they have a night wake and be less alarmed.
I hope this helps you figure out whether your child’s night wakes are normal or not… and if they are not, that you know where to start to fix them.