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Figuring out Sleep for a Newborn

lbenjell • April 20, 2021

A sleep survival guide to the first few weeks of your infant’s life

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

Do you ever feel like the person who coined  “sleep like a baby” probably never got to spend time with a baby?  I mean, seriously, moms of newborns KNOW that babies never sleep, especially at night.

You’d be surprised, or not, to know that newborns do actually sleep a lot.  Their sleep needs are high (Did someone say 17 hours of sleep?) and their reliance on their mother is big.  In fact, the first three to four months of a baby’s life are known as the fourth trimester and sleep is very unorganized during that time.

Oftentimes, newborns sleep a lot during the day, leaving them awake much of the night.  This is known as Day/Night Confusion.  Another newborn experience that makes sleep difficult is colic.  These two topics are covered in separate blog posts as linked.

Focus on awake times instead…

Newborn sleep is not governed by your regular 24 hour clock.  Their circadian rhythms are immature and their sleep cycles are bi-phasic, unlike those of an adult.  This means that for half the time they are asleep, they are in light active sleep and for the other half, they are in deep sleep.  What does that look like for us?  This is the main culprit behind baby waking up as soon as we try to lay him in their crib after he has fallen asleep in our arms.  This is also the reason newborns make so many noises in their sleep.

Simply put, we know that sleep is messy during the first few weeks of a baby’s life: this translates into irregular sleep periods as well as inability to fall asleep on their own.  When we realize this, we can begin to take a load off the parents shoulders and instead of focusing on how long the sleep is or how baby fell asleep, we can focus on offering sleep every 45-60 minutes, even if assisted (by mom or a rocking chair or what have you).  Babies have a short capacity to stay awake and when we offer sleep at short intervals, we allow them to relieve the sleep pressure thereby preventing them from getting overtired.  If you have at all struggled with your child’s sleep, you know that overtired is the enemy: it is the way to make sure that baby will have an even harder time falling asleep. 

When baby smiles…

The first real sleep milestone happens when baby reaches around 6 to 8 weeks.  Your child is now more aware of her surrounding and this period is marked by her ability to smile “on purpose”.  When you show up, baby can now look at you and smile, showing that he recognized you and is happy to see you.  At this point, you will find that it becomes ever so important to dedicate a consistent sleep space that’s dark cool and quiet as much as possible to avoid distractions at nap and bedtime.  Baby also naturally starts needing an earlier bedtime and you will find that they are more capable of longer stretches of sleep during the first half of the night.

If self-settling is a skill you would like your baby to acquire gently , you can start practicing it as early as this stage.  Lay baby drowsy but awake in her crib for her first nap of the day and see if she will fall asleep.  If she fusses at all, pick her up and help her fall asleep in whatever way you choose.  You can try again tomorrow if you wish: afterall, practice makes perfect!

Tools to help…

Before I sign off here, I want to leave you with two tools that can help you set the stage for healthy sleep habits:

  1. Diversifying soothing methods: When possible, try to avoid relying on just one way to soothe baby.  I know its tempting to stick to the formula that works but when you difersify how you soothe your baby and even who soothes your baby, there is a lower probability that a certain action or person will be associated to falling asleep.
  2. EAT/PLAY/SLEEP:  A newborn mama’s day is a very unstructured and hard to plan.  Having said that, it helps to plan to feed baby as soon as they wake up instead of right before sleep.  This way, there is always an activity right before bed that does not involve breastfeeding or a bottle.  Tracy Hogg introduces the concept of EASY in Secrets of The Baby Whisperer through which she encourages parents to always have an activity between feeding and sleeping. Of course, during the first few weeks of baby’s life, that activity will just be changing a diaper or putting PJ’s on: it might not necessarily be a play or physical activity.
  3. Stop, wait and listen: Since infants spend a significant amount of type in active sleep, they may move, make sounds and cry in their sleep.  So before you jump in and scoop them out of their crib at the first whimper you hear, I want you to stop.  Take a minute and listen: Is baby really awake or are they just making sleep sounds?

Life with a newborn is amazing but can be a time of total chaos and confusion.  So instead of worrying about whether your baby is sleeping enough focus on recovering, bonding with your baby and offering them sleep often (every hour for example).  And remember to enjoy it, seasons change quickly for infants and what seems so difficult today will be a distant memory sooner than you think!

By Guest author: Belinda Kirk October 7, 2024
October is SIDS Awareness Month, dedicated to raising awareness about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. It’s a time to educate parents and caregivers on safe sleep practices that can reduce the risk and help protect our little ones.. At Hushabye, safety is at the heart of our brand. Our focus is on providing parents with safe and high-quality baby sleepwear, such as sleep bags, that offer a safer alternative to traditional blankets. What is a baby sleep bag? A baby sleep bag, also known as a wearable blanket or sleep sack, is a specially designed garment for infants and young children to wear during sleep. The primary purpose of a sleep bag is to keep the baby warm and comfortable, but it also serves as a safe and convenient alternative to traditional blankets and quilts in a crib or cot.
By lbenjell May 20, 2024
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, sleep often takes a back seat to other priorities. Yet, the importance of sleep for mental health cannot be overstated, especially for parents and their children. From infancy through adulthood, sleep plays a crucial role in maintaining emotional stability, cognitive function, and overall well-being. Let’s delve into the intricate relationship between sleep and mental health, exploring its significance for both parents and kids. Understanding Sleep: The Foundation of Mental Health Sleep is not merely a passive state of rest; it's a dynamic process that facilitates vital functions for physical and mental health. During sleep, the brain consolidates memories, processes emotions, and regulates various physiological processes. For children, especially infants and toddlers, sleep is paramount for healthy growth and development. It's during sleep that their brains form crucial neural connections, essential for learning and behavior regulation. Sleep and Parental Mental Health For parents, particularly those with young children, sleep deprivation is often a common occurrence. The demands of caring for a newborn or attending to the needs of a growing child can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to chronic sleep deficits. This chronic sleep deprivation can take a toll on parental mental health in several ways: Increased Stress and Anxiety : Sleep-deprived parents often experience heightened stress levels and anxiety. The constant fatigue and inability to get adequate rest can exacerbate feelings of overwhelm and tension. Impaired Cognitive Function : Lack of sleep impairs cognitive function, making it difficult for parents to concentrate, make decisions, and problem-solve effectively. This can further contribute to feelings of inadequacy and frustration. Mood Disorders : Chronic sleep deprivation is linked to an increased risk of mood disorders such as depression and irritability. Parents may find themselves more prone to mood swings and emotional instability, impacting their ability to nurture a positive environment for their children. Strained Relationships : Sleep deprivation can strain relationships, leading to conflicts and communication breakdowns between partners. This can create additional stressors, further exacerbating mental health challenges. Sleep and Child Mental Health Just as sleep is crucial for parental well-being, it's equally essential for children's mental health and development. Adequate sleep is associated with numerous benefits for children, including: Emotional Regulation : Sufficient sleep plays a vital role in emotional regulation, helping children manage their feelings and behaviors effectively. Children who get enough sleep are often more resilient to stress and less prone to mood disturbances. Cognitive Development : Sleep is essential for cognitive development in children, as it supports learning, memory consolidation, and problem-solving skills. A well-rested child is better equipped to succeed academically and socially. Behavioral Health : Sleep disturbances in children are closely linked to behavioral problems such as hyperactivity, impulsivity, and aggression. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can significantly reduce the risk of such issues. Reduced Risk of Mental Health Disorders : Research suggests that inadequate sleep during childhood is associated with an increased risk of mental health disorders later in life, including anxiety, depression, and ADHD. Strategies for Promoting Healthy Sleep Given the critical role of sleep in mental health for both parents and children, it's essential to prioritize sleep hygiene and establish healthy sleep habits. Here are some strategies to promote better sleep: Consistent Bedtime Routine: Establish a consistent bedtime routine for both parents and children. A calming bedtime routine signals to the body that it's time to wind down and prepare for sleep. Create a Sleep-Conducive Environment: Ensure that the bedroom environment is conducive to sleep . This includes keeping the room dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Limit Screen Time: Minimize screen time, especially before bedtime, as exposure to screens can interfere with melatonin production and disrupt sleep patterns. Encourage Physical Activity: Regular physical activity during the day can promote better sleep at night. Encourage children to engage in active play and ensure that parents incorporate exercise into their daily routine as well. Healthy Sleep Associations: Help children develop healthy sleep associations by associating bedtime with soothing activities such as reading or gentle music. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Teach children and parents relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or guided imagery to promote relaxation and stress relief before bedtime. Seek Professional Help When Needed: If sleep problems persist despite implementing these strategies, seek guidance from a healthcare professional or sleep specialist. You can always schedule a discovery call with me to discuss whether working with me will help your little one get a better night sleep. For parents and children alike, prioritizing sleep is essential for maintaining emotional well-being, cognitive function, and overall health. By recognizing the importance of sleep and implementing strategies to promote healthy sleep habits, parents can nurture a positive sleep environment for themselves and their children, laying the foundation for a lifetime of mental wellness.
By lbenjell April 24, 2024
Sleep is the cornerstone of our well-being, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. As parents, we often hear about the significance of sleep, yet understanding the specific needs of our children at different stages of their lives can be the key to ensuring they thrive. In this comprehensive guide, we'll delve into the importance of sleep for children and explore the recommended amount of sleep they need from birth into their teenage years. Birth to 12 Months: During the first year of life, sleep is not just vital; it's foundational. Infants spend a significant portion of their time sleeping, with newborns needing around 14-17 hours of sleep per day. As they grow, the total sleep hours gradually decrease, but the importance remains unchanged. Sleep is crucial for their physical growth, cognitive development, and emotional well-being. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can lay the groundwork for a lifetime of restful sleep. 1 to 3 Years Old: Toddlers are bundles of energy, constantly exploring the world around them. Despite their boundless enthusiasm, they still require ample sleep to support their rapid development. Children aged 1 to 3 years typically need about 12-14 hours of sleep per day, including naps. Consistent bedtime routines and a conducive sleep environment can help toddlers settle into a restful night's sleep, setting the stage for their busy days ahead. 4 to 6 Years Old: As children transition into preschoolers and embark on new adventures, their sleep needs evolve yet again. Preschool-aged children typically require 10-12 hours of sleep per night. Quality sleep at this stage is essential for consolidating learning, enhancing memory, and regulating emotions. Encouraging a consistent sleep schedule and minimizing screen time before bedtime can promote healthier sleep habits in young children. 7 to 12 Years Old: As children enter the school-age years, the demands of academics, extracurricular activities, and social interactions can sometimes encroach on their sleep. However, prioritizing sleep remains crucial for their overall well-being. School-aged children generally need 9-11 hours of sleep each night. Adequate sleep supports cognitive function, academic performance, and physical health. By fostering a sleep-friendly environment and promoting a regular bedtime routine, parents can help their children meet their sleep needs even amidst busy schedules. Teenage Years: The teenage years mark a period of significant change, both physically and emotionally. Amidst academic pressures, social activities, and technological distractions, teenagers often find themselves grappling with sleep deprivation. Yet, prioritizing sleep during adolescence is more critical than ever. Teenagers typically require 8-10 hours of sleep per night, yet many fall short of this recommendation. Sleep plays a vital role in adolescent development, impacting mood regulation, cognitive function, and physical health. Establishing healthy sleep habits, such as limiting caffeine intake and creating a sleep-conducive environment, can empower teenagers to prioritize rest and reap the benefits of adequate sleep. Sleep is not a luxury; it's a necessity, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. From birth through the teenage years, the importance of sleep remains constant, evolving alongside the child's changing needs. By understanding the recommended amount of sleep for each stage of childhood and implementing strategies to support healthy sleep habits, parents can empower their children to thrive and reach their full potential. If you find that your children are falling short of the recommended hours of sleep or struggling with sleep-related challenges, don't hesitate to take action. A personalized approach to addressing sleep issues can make a world of difference for your family. I invite you to book a discovery call with me at One2Sleep Consulting. Together, we can explore your family's unique sleep needs and develop a tailored plan to promote restful sleep and overall well-being for your children. Let's embark on this journey toward better sleep together. Your family's good night's sleep starts here.
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