5 Tools for a smoother bedtime
Written by: Lamis Benjelloun
“Mommy, Can I tell you something?”
“Can we read the story one more time?”
“I’m thirsty!”
Familiar ? That’s the sound of a child resisting bedtime. And children are experts at finding an excuse not to go to sleep. Whether that’s a trip to the bathroom, an extra hug or a late night snack, children know what to say to extend bedtime. A request every now and then is not a big deal but when it’s several requests a night, it can become difficult. And in the long term, these requests can threaten the reasonably timed bedtime that children really need.
So how can we keep these requests in check? I’ve listed some tools below. Some of these work in combination with one another, while others can be substituted for each other: it all depends on your child, what they are struggling with, and what they respond well to.
Reducing or eliminating bedtime battles is a lot about setting boundaries and routines and consistently sticking to them. But for your child to respect those boundaries, not only do they have to understand them but they have to be willing to respect them. And that willingness is strongest when your child is not overtired. An overtired child will resist sleep so hard that any excuse to not sleep is a good one. So prevent those battles altogether by making sure your little ones are napping when they need to and for the length of time that will help them feel fully rested.
Those boundaries we just talked about : well we need a forum through which we communicate them to our kiddos. Family meetings are a great tool for that. Sit down with your children and discuss the importance of sleep. Talk to them about your family routines and what each family member is expected to do during sleep time. Make sure your use age appropriate language to really drive your message across.
Rules charts are great additions to the family meeting. You can make it with your children once you have established your routines and boundaries. Be specific in your description so they know what to expect. For example: “In our family, web rush our teeth, go potty, read 3 stories and turn the lights out. We then stay in bed all night until the clock turns green.”
Depending on your preferences and what your children like, these rules and routines can be in the format of a poster, a reward chart, a booklet, cards or anything that you know your children will enjoy. Let them color and decorate the chart and put it up in their room as a reminder.
Since kids don’t actually have a concept of time, using a timer helps to show them the start and end of each part of the routine. This eases the transition from one activity to another and removes the burden on the parents so that they are not the ones to end reading and rush to the next item on the list. The child already knows as the timer gave him or her the heads up.
Start using the timer during the day for some fun activities. Show your children how it works and let them set it. As the end of the activity approaches, draw your children’s attention to the timer. Once your kiddos are familiar with it, start using it during the bedtime routine.
If your toddler is the master of night time requests, then the bedtime pass is the tool for you. It basically allows you to give in to some of your child’s requests, while maintaining control over how many. Make some passes for his or her most common requests, decide how many they get each night and hand them over to them at bedtime. Every time they ask for a glass of water, they have to hand over one of their passes. Once they are out of passes, their “asks” will have to wait until the next day. This way, the requests are not limitless.
What’s your child most common bedtime request? If you feel like it’s a battle to get your kiddo to bed every night, send me an email at lamis@one2sleep.com so I can share some of these tools with you.
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The information on this website is not intended nor is implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with regards to the health and welfare of your baby, toddler or child.