How having a team is always a good idea
Written by: Lamis Benjelloun
I often get to work with moms. They are the ones who bear the brunt of the sleep issues that their babies are experiencing and they are the ones that feel the need to make a change. And when I hear from their supporting spouses, they are usually and understandably apprehensive but also very concerned about helping both their baby and their spouse get more sleep. But from time to time, I get a father who is super involved and dead set on bringing sleep changes to their home. In the last couple of years, I have watched numerous families make significant changes to their life by bringing healthy sleep habits to their babies, but here is how working with an involved dad looks different:
Having a team of two, mom and dad, is not always possible but usually makes the process easier than working solo. First of all, when both parents attend the consultation, there is a deeper understanding of the process and plan. This idea is kind of self evident as whatever mom may miss or misunderstand, dad can get and vice versa.
When everybody is on the same page, both parents are working towards the same goal that they have set together. They agree on the plan together, understand the challenges they may face and have a common goal to work for. This not only holds them accountable to one another, it increases the chances of success. When both mom and dad agree, there is less chance that one parent will undermine or sabotage the hard work that the other parent it doing.
Let’s be honest here, sleep training is hard. In fact, making any changes to your routine with baby is hard. There will be many victories along the way but there will also be many difficult times and many moments of doubt. Working as a team, you can support each other through it all. You can celebrate together. You can also help each other when things are hard and remind each other of why you are doing all of this.
There! I said it! Babes, especially breastfed ones, generally sleep better when dad does bedtime. I believe the “secret” that everyone knows here is that dads can’t breastfeed. You know it, I know it, dad knows it, and most importantly BABY knows it. And this can work to your advantage! When baby wakes up to nurse, mom can breastfeed and then had over to dad to settle them back to sleep. This helps immensely when you are either trying to prevent any sleep associations or trying to eliminate them.
I have come across enough families to understand that it is not always easy or even possible to have both mom and dad be involved at bedtime. But when it is possible, having a team does have its advantages. What does bedtime look like in your family?
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The information on this website is not intended nor is implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with regards to the health and welfare of your baby, toddler or child.