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You Do Not Have to Wait Until Baby Grows Out of “IT”

Jida Choura • Mar 15, 2021

Separating fact from fiction in the conversation about infant reflux

Written by: Jida Choura, the Reflux Mamma

Doesn’t it just sting, when someone says “its just colic”, or “all babies cry”. It is “just” the first 3 months and then babies grow out of “It”.  The looks of judgment when you are at the clinic, and the “is this your first baby?” questions are just the worst. And the one sentence that used to personally hurt me was “oh you just have a grumpy baby, he’s just whiny.”

I am here to tell you there is no such thing as a grumpy baby.

These answers are actually said to you because the person saying them does not want to say: “ we do not actually know what is wrong with your baby”. They are words thrown around from friends; family members and even health professionals making mothers feel helpless, inadequate and delusional. I know, I was exactly where you were.

As a baby reflux consultant I don’t accept colic as a diagnosis. Colic’s actual definition is: “ a baby crying for 3 hours everyday, or for 3 hours a day 3 times a week for longer than 3 weeks”.  If this describes your baby, I can tell you with utmost certainty THIS IS NOT NORMAL and it is NOT OKAY.

When a baby is deemed a colicky baby, this should be a mother’s queue to investigate more. It means something else is going on with the baby and baby is trying to communicate that they are very uncomfortable. There is always a cause for a baby’s discomfort.

So the next time someone accuses your baby of being a colicky baby and tells you its just  “gas”. I want you to ask yourself: WHY? If they tell you your baby is colicky because they have reflux? I want you to ask WHY? Only when we find the root cause of your baby’s discomfort can we actually resolve it. 40% of babies born actually suffer from reflux , and unfortunately the solution given to mothers is wait or medicate.

You are told to wait for baby to grow out of it. Although there is no guarantee that they will, it all depends on what is actually going on; some kids suffer with reflux until age of 3.

Also, how is spending the first couple of years of your baby’s life wishing they would just grow while watching them suffer a solution?

The other option given is: medicate. Without identifying what the root cause behind the baby’s reflux is. Medication 95% of the times is unnecessary and does not actually resolve reflux. Only in very rare cases is it actually needed, and you must know that there are certain tests that need to be done before prescribing medication to make sure it is the necessary course of action.

Unfortunately, this is not what is actually happening. Medication is prescribed as an automatic response to any baby suffering with reflux, and this is something I urge mothers to be very aware of. Reflux medication prescribed to babies can cause side effects and is not easy weaning off due to the physiological tampering it does to a baby’s body.

As a mother of a child, that suffered with reflux for 9 months, and as the first certified baby reflux consultant in the middle east. I want you to know that the majority of the times reflux is completely resolvable without medication.   Yes, you read that right. Reflux can be resolved completely . There is always a solution.

So first off lets identify what reflux actually is? Reflux is an involuntary action that the stomach does to protect the digestive system. It is the first line of defense for the digestive system to let whatever might cause the body discomfort out.

REFLUX IS NOT A DISEASE. IT IS A SYMPTOM.

There is always, always a cause for it. It is not something your baby just has to live with.  Reflux does not necessarily mean throw up. Some babies spit up, others projectile vomit across the room (and this is when reflux is called GERD), and sometimes it involves zero spit up which is known as silent reflux. This is when the milk mixes with stomach acid and goes back up to the esophagus reaching the throat or mouth and then goes back down burning the esophagus on both ways.

Because reflux is a symptom, it can differ from baby to baby completely.  For example, some babies can lose weight, spit up and not sleep. Others might sleep great, no spit up and be gaining weight but they whine all day, have painful gas and do not want to be put down. Both babies can be suffering from reflux.

Think of reflux as one of the symptoms of flu, the flu is the cause behind the cough or the temperature or the body aches. The body ache in itself is not a disease nor is it a cause. This is really important when trying to figure out what is causing your baby’s discomfort, as a baby reflux consultant I do not just look at your child’s sleep, weight, spit up and cries. I look at over 80 symptoms (some digestive, respiratory, skin related, behavior related, and others sleep related) that can accompany reflux and only then am I able to know the root cause behind your baby’s reflux.

There are many reasons for reflux, some happen during pregnancy, during delivery and others during the fourth trimester. The most common reasons are:

During pregnancy :
Baby’s position in Utero
Breech baby
Baby’s head position for birth
Mom’s gut health during pregnancy
Mom taking antibiotics during pregnancy
Gestational diabetes
Folic acid supplementation
Multiple births

During delivery:
Induction
C-section (planned or emergency)
Use of forceps or vaccum
Antibiotics during delivery

During fourth trimester :
Allergy/intolerance from moms food if baby is breastfed
Allergy/intolerance from formula milk
Baby’s gut health
Difficulties latching
Antibiotics given to baby
Tongue tie, lip tie, buckle tie
Cleft lip and high palate
Reflux medications
Tube feeding
Immature digestion

So the next time someone says your baby has reflux and ends there. Or your baby is a “colicky” baby and ends there. Do not accept that. You are your baby’s expert. If you feel your baby is more uncomfortable than they should be, trust your gut. Waiting is not a solution and is not your only option. Holding your baby up for 30 min after every feed might help sometimes but will not resolve the unique cause of your baby’s reflux. Sleeping at an angle will not resolve your baby’s reflux, medicating 95% of the time is unnecessary and will not resolve your baby’s reflux.

Only when realizing what the cause is can you actually resolve it and get your baby reflux free. So I would like to ask you as a mother to trust yourself, trust that you know your baby best and believe me when I tell you the days do not have to be this hard, because Reflux is not a disease .

By lbenjell 20 May, 2024
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, sleep often takes a back seat to other priorities. Yet, the importance of sleep for mental health cannot be overstated, especially for parents and their children. From infancy through adulthood, sleep plays a crucial role in maintaining emotional stability, cognitive function, and overall well-being. Let’s delve into the intricate relationship between sleep and mental health, exploring its significance for both parents and kids. Understanding Sleep: The Foundation of Mental Health Sleep is not merely a passive state of rest; it's a dynamic process that facilitates vital functions for physical and mental health. During sleep, the brain consolidates memories, processes emotions, and regulates various physiological processes. For children, especially infants and toddlers, sleep is paramount for healthy growth and development. It's during sleep that their brains form crucial neural connections, essential for learning and behavior regulation. Sleep and Parental Mental Health For parents, particularly those with young children, sleep deprivation is often a common occurrence. The demands of caring for a newborn or attending to the needs of a growing child can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to chronic sleep deficits. This chronic sleep deprivation can take a toll on parental mental health in several ways: Increased Stress and Anxiety : Sleep-deprived parents often experience heightened stress levels and anxiety. The constant fatigue and inability to get adequate rest can exacerbate feelings of overwhelm and tension. Impaired Cognitive Function : Lack of sleep impairs cognitive function, making it difficult for parents to concentrate, make decisions, and problem-solve effectively. This can further contribute to feelings of inadequacy and frustration. Mood Disorders : Chronic sleep deprivation is linked to an increased risk of mood disorders such as depression and irritability. Parents may find themselves more prone to mood swings and emotional instability, impacting their ability to nurture a positive environment for their children. Strained Relationships : Sleep deprivation can strain relationships, leading to conflicts and communication breakdowns between partners. This can create additional stressors, further exacerbating mental health challenges. Sleep and Child Mental Health Just as sleep is crucial for parental well-being, it's equally essential for children's mental health and development. Adequate sleep is associated with numerous benefits for children, including: Emotional Regulation : Sufficient sleep plays a vital role in emotional regulation, helping children manage their feelings and behaviors effectively. Children who get enough sleep are often more resilient to stress and less prone to mood disturbances. Cognitive Development : Sleep is essential for cognitive development in children, as it supports learning, memory consolidation, and problem-solving skills. A well-rested child is better equipped to succeed academically and socially. Behavioral Health : Sleep disturbances in children are closely linked to behavioral problems such as hyperactivity, impulsivity, and aggression. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can significantly reduce the risk of such issues. Reduced Risk of Mental Health Disorders : Research suggests that inadequate sleep during childhood is associated with an increased risk of mental health disorders later in life, including anxiety, depression, and ADHD. Strategies for Promoting Healthy Sleep Given the critical role of sleep in mental health for both parents and children, it's essential to prioritize sleep hygiene and establish healthy sleep habits. Here are some strategies to promote better sleep: Consistent Bedtime Routine: Establish a consistent bedtime routine for both parents and children. A calming bedtime routine signals to the body that it's time to wind down and prepare for sleep. Create a Sleep-Conducive Environment: Ensure that the bedroom environment is conducive to sleep . This includes keeping the room dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Limit Screen Time: Minimize screen time, especially before bedtime, as exposure to screens can interfere with melatonin production and disrupt sleep patterns. Encourage Physical Activity: Regular physical activity during the day can promote better sleep at night. Encourage children to engage in active play and ensure that parents incorporate exercise into their daily routine as well. Healthy Sleep Associations: Help children develop healthy sleep associations by associating bedtime with soothing activities such as reading or gentle music. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Teach children and parents relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or guided imagery to promote relaxation and stress relief before bedtime. Seek Professional Help When Needed: If sleep problems persist despite implementing these strategies, seek guidance from a healthcare professional or sleep specialist. You can always schedule a discovery call with me to discuss whether working with me will help your little one get a better night sleep. For parents and children alike, prioritizing sleep is essential for maintaining emotional well-being, cognitive function, and overall health. By recognizing the importance of sleep and implementing strategies to promote healthy sleep habits, parents can nurture a positive sleep environment for themselves and their children, laying the foundation for a lifetime of mental wellness.
By lbenjell 24 Apr, 2024
Sleep is the cornerstone of our well-being, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. As parents, we often hear about the significance of sleep, yet understanding the specific needs of our children at different stages of their lives can be the key to ensuring they thrive. In this comprehensive guide, we'll delve into the importance of sleep for children and explore the recommended amount of sleep they need from birth into their teenage years. Birth to 12 Months: During the first year of life, sleep is not just vital; it's foundational. Infants spend a significant portion of their time sleeping, with newborns needing around 14-17 hours of sleep per day. As they grow, the total sleep hours gradually decrease, but the importance remains unchanged. Sleep is crucial for their physical growth, cognitive development, and emotional well-being. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can lay the groundwork for a lifetime of restful sleep. 1 to 3 Years Old: Toddlers are bundles of energy, constantly exploring the world around them. Despite their boundless enthusiasm, they still require ample sleep to support their rapid development. Children aged 1 to 3 years typically need about 12-14 hours of sleep per day, including naps. Consistent bedtime routines and a conducive sleep environment can help toddlers settle into a restful night's sleep, setting the stage for their busy days ahead. 4 to 6 Years Old: As children transition into preschoolers and embark on new adventures, their sleep needs evolve yet again. Preschool-aged children typically require 10-12 hours of sleep per night. Quality sleep at this stage is essential for consolidating learning, enhancing memory, and regulating emotions. Encouraging a consistent sleep schedule and minimizing screen time before bedtime can promote healthier sleep habits in young children. 7 to 12 Years Old: As children enter the school-age years, the demands of academics, extracurricular activities, and social interactions can sometimes encroach on their sleep. However, prioritizing sleep remains crucial for their overall well-being. School-aged children generally need 9-11 hours of sleep each night. Adequate sleep supports cognitive function, academic performance, and physical health. By fostering a sleep-friendly environment and promoting a regular bedtime routine, parents can help their children meet their sleep needs even amidst busy schedules. Teenage Years: The teenage years mark a period of significant change, both physically and emotionally. Amidst academic pressures, social activities, and technological distractions, teenagers often find themselves grappling with sleep deprivation. Yet, prioritizing sleep during adolescence is more critical than ever. Teenagers typically require 8-10 hours of sleep per night, yet many fall short of this recommendation. Sleep plays a vital role in adolescent development, impacting mood regulation, cognitive function, and physical health. Establishing healthy sleep habits, such as limiting caffeine intake and creating a sleep-conducive environment, can empower teenagers to prioritize rest and reap the benefits of adequate sleep. Sleep is not a luxury; it's a necessity, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. From birth through the teenage years, the importance of sleep remains constant, evolving alongside the child's changing needs. By understanding the recommended amount of sleep for each stage of childhood and implementing strategies to support healthy sleep habits, parents can empower their children to thrive and reach their full potential. If you find that your children are falling short of the recommended hours of sleep or struggling with sleep-related challenges, don't hesitate to take action. A personalized approach to addressing sleep issues can make a world of difference for your family. I invite you to book a discovery call with me at One2Sleep Consulting. Together, we can explore your family's unique sleep needs and develop a tailored plan to promote restful sleep and overall well-being for your children. Let's embark on this journey toward better sleep together. Your family's good night's sleep starts here.
By lbenjell 06 Jun, 2023
You are sitting peacefully watching a movie when you hear your little one scream. It’s the middle of the night and you are convinced they are having a nightmare. But when you go check, your baby is unconsolable. It is as if they are not recognizing your presence. So was it a night mare or something else? In most cases, when sleep is disturbed, our babes are most likely having a nightmare. But sometimes, it turns out to be a night terror instead. So what’s the difference between the two and how can we help our little ones get through each one. What is a nightmare? A nightmare is a bad dream that can cause the person experiencing it fright or distress. Children generally start having nightmares between the ages of 2 and 3 years but some start as early as 2 years old. Nightmares generally happen in the REM stages of sleep or in other words in the later part of the night. A child having a nightmare can wake up and remember the content of the dream and even feel distressed as a result. What triggers a nightmare? Nightmares can be triggered by a number of things. It can be something that they are worried about, something they heard a story about or even something they watched on TV. That is why I always ask parents to do a quick audit of who their little one is spending time with and what they are watching. Something that an older cousin or sibling said in passing can really stay with the little ones. How can I help my child after a nightmare? Immediately after the episode (or in the middle of the night) soothe and comfort your baby and help them go back to sleep — however that may look like for your family. Once the initial shock/fear has passed, spend time the next day talking to your little one about the dream. Was it scary? how did it make them feel? Make sure you validate those feelings as they are very real to them but also put them in context: dreams are works of our imaginary and we can retell the narrative differently. Is there a way to turn the monster into something funny? Can the bad story in the dream have a happy ending? Help them focus on their ability to imagine good things instead of dwelling on the scary aspect of the dream. What is a night terror? Similar to a nightmare, a Night terror is a parasomnia that can disturb our kiddo’s sleep. This one happens in the deep NREM portion of sleep which means earlier in the night. A child experiencing a night terror may sleep walk or scream but may not recognize your efforts to soothe them or calm them down. The next day, your little one will have absolutely no recollection of the episode. What triggers night terrors? Night terrors can be hereditary so if someone in your family has experience with them, it might explain why your little one is having them. But night terrors can also be caused by overtiredness so offering more sleep can help reduce their frequency. How can I help my child through or after a night terror? In these cases, it is best to accompany your baby in their terror and keep them safe, without waking them. The episode will ride out and they will be out of it in a few minutes. Chatting about it the next day is probably not going to help as this is not something that they will be able to recall. Has your child experienced night terrors? I would love to hear more.
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