Why a sleep mantra can be a great sleep cue.
Written by Lamis Benjelloun
“Good night baby, I love you.” I have said this every night for the past 8 – almost 9 – years as I first tucked my firstborn, then as I tucked both of my kids in. Over the years, this sort of mantra has taken on a life of its own, and my sons have even been known to tease me with it and use it when they know that its almost bedtime. But jokes and teasing aside, this sentence has served as a bedtime cue for the better part of the last 8 years of our lives. Why is that? Here it goes…
Last week’s blog went into details about the common sleep associations that can sometimes become unsustainable for some families. But just like babies can associate rocking or bouncing or feeding to sleep, they can also associate certain positive things to sleep. A constant sleeping space, a sound machine, a swaddle or a sleep sack: those are all things that babies can come to associate with sleep. If we repeat the same bedtime routine day in and day out, children quickly learn and recognise that sleep is coming after the routine. The same thing happens when you switch off the lights, pull down the shades or say good night. These all come to signify that now is the time to sleep.
At the beginning, it wasn’t so much what I said that mattered. It was the repetition of the same sentence before bed that was helping them. It was creating an association between that sentence and the onset of sleep. I could be walking around a mall and when its naptime, I would repeat that sentence a few times and that usually was the last push they needed to go to sleep. They were already drowsy because it was naptime but it was as if I was giving them permission to relax and actually sleep.
It was also a reassuring voice to them, as we began sleep-training efforts. I could say that sentence and they immediately recognised that one of their parents was there for them. And even when they woke up because they were ill or had a nightmare, that sentence has served many a time to reassure them and help them doze off again.
As they grew older, the meaning and content of the sentence became the primary purpose. It told them they are loved, they are cared for and reassured them that we are there for them as they slept. What we tell our kiddos at bedtime is important. We need to reassure them that we are there for them and that we will see them in the morning when we all wake up. So I encourage you to find your way of doing that for your baby. Something as simple as “sweet dreams baby, I’ll see you in the morning” can go a long way in allowing baby to surrender to sleep.
I’m not saying that this sentence or sleep mantra is the magic incantation that gets my babies to sleep. But just like their bedtime routine, the mantra is just an additional way of letting them know that they can relax because sleep is coming.
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The information on this website is not intended nor is implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with regards to the health and welfare of your baby, toddler or child.