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What’s the deal with sleep props?

lbenjell • Jan 26, 2021

A closer look at sleep crutches and associations.

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

I love to read a book right before bed, my husband loads up on the news and my best friend can only sleep if the tv is on.  My brother cannot sleep unless he is under a serious comforter, no matter the season, and my son can only sleep completely uncovered.  We all have things that help us “cook our sleep,” as we say in Morocco.  This means that we all have our quirks when it comes to sleep and we all have different ways to prepare for it.

One of the most common misconceptions is that at some point, every child will be able to sleep through the night.  And I say misconception because to be perfectly honest with you, nobody sleeps through the night.  Not even you. Or me.  Instead, throughout the night, we continuously move from one sleep cycle to another until we reach the morning.

As we begin each cycle, we first enter the NREM stages, falling deeper and deeper in sleep, followed by the REM stage.  At the end of each cycle, and before the beginning of the next, there will be a brief arousal period.  This arousal period is so short that most of the time, we can’t even recall being awake.  We might fix our pillow, adjust a cover, but we go right back to sleep.  And so should babies.

However, much like most of the systems in their body, newborn sleep starts off under-developed, maturing around the 4-month mark.  Many refer to this as the four month sleep regression but all it really means is that baby’s sleep can now be described as cycles that are made of REM and NREM periods, or more like adult cycles. In the first few months of life, the duration of that cycle is short (around 45 minutes) but that lengthens as they get older to reach around 90 minutes.

But what happens if your baby fell asleep in your arms before you laid them in bed.  You can imagine that that brief “arousal” period we talked about earlier turns into full on “alarmed waking” as they begin to wonder how they ended up here.  This is basically the reason why sleep crutches, props or associations are such a big topic for new or even seasoned moms.

A sleep association or a crutch is any action that a baby needs to fall asleep.  When they are unable to put themselves to sleep as infants, we as parents begin to experiment with ways to help them do so.  When we find a way that works, we stick to it.  As this repeats every night, every night waking, and every nap, the child begins to put the two actions together, or in other words associate them together.

As I said in the introduction of this piece, many adults have such associations.  Watching TV, reading or a particular sleep position can be the absolute necessary thing we need to fall asleep.  But in many cases, for babies, these crutches are provided by the parents.  Take a look at the most common sleep props: nursing, bottle feeding, rocking, bouncing, walking, patting, rubbing or touching.  There is no way that baby can reproduce any of these actions on their own at the end of every hour or so as they move from one cycle to the next.  They need their parents’ or caregiver’s intervention.  Therefore, they need to call out, or cry out, for mom or dad to nurse them back to sleep. Or rock them back to sleep. Or bounce them back to sleep.  You get the picture.

Is this a bad habit that we need to change?  Only you can tell me.  Some moms cherish the time they get to lay next to their baby as they fall asleep.  Others don’t mind bouncing their child for a few minutes before bedtime every night.  But in some other cases, the exercise is difficult.   It is common for babies who rely on sleep props to take very short naps because they can’t move to the next cycle.  This leads to a sort of chronic sleep deprivation. When you combine the lack of independent sleep skills with an overtired child, you are talking about hours of bouncing, continually replacing a pacifier or waking up every couple of hours throughout the night.

Can they be avoided altogether? Due to the way the child’s brain and sleep organisation is at birth, babies are born needing a lot of assistance from mom.  Having said that, you can certainly try a few things to reduce baby’s reliance on sleep props — making sure of course, that your attempts are age-appropriate:

You can work on varying your soothing techniques
You can work on including other caregivers to soothe baby
You can make sure that baby does not get overtired by offering them as much sleep as possible
You can focus on consolidating naps
You can create a bedtime routine that prepares baby to sleep
You can work on making their sleep space consistent and conducive for sleep
You can try to minimize your reliance on external ways to put baby to sleep, such as strollers, swings, bouncers, etc.
You can adopt a “EAT-PLAY-SLEEP” schedule

But, say your baby does have a sleep association that is not sustainable for your family: don’t worry. It is never too late to help them become an independent sleeper by setting up a healthy sleep foundation.

The Vital Link Between Sleep and Mental Health: A Guide for Parents and Kids

By lbenjell • 20 May, 2024
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, sleep often takes a back seat to other priorities. Yet, the importance of sleep for mental health cannot be overstated, especially for parents and their children. From infancy through adulthood, sleep plays a crucial role in maintaining emotional stability, cognitive function, and overall well-being. Let’s delve into the intricate relationship between sleep and mental health, exploring its significance for both parents and kids. Understanding Sleep: The Foundation of Mental Health Sleep is not merely a passive state of rest; it's a dynamic process that facilitates vital functions for physical and mental health. During sleep, the brain consolidates memories, processes emotions, and regulates various physiological processes. For children, especially infants and toddlers, sleep is paramount for healthy growth and development. It's during sleep that their brains form crucial neural connections, essential for learning and behavior regulation. Sleep and Parental Mental Health For parents, particularly those with young children, sleep deprivation is often a common occurrence. The demands of caring for a newborn or attending to the needs of a growing child can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to chronic sleep deficits. This chronic sleep deprivation can take a toll on parental mental health in several ways: Increased Stress and Anxiety : Sleep-deprived parents often experience heightened stress levels and anxiety. The constant fatigue and inability to get adequate rest can exacerbate feelings of overwhelm and tension. Impaired Cognitive Function : Lack of sleep impairs cognitive function, making it difficult for parents to concentrate, make decisions, and problem-solve effectively. This can further contribute to feelings of inadequacy and frustration. Mood Disorders : Chronic sleep deprivation is linked to an increased risk of mood disorders such as depression and irritability. Parents may find themselves more prone to mood swings and emotional instability, impacting their ability to nurture a positive environment for their children. Strained Relationships : Sleep deprivation can strain relationships, leading to conflicts and communication breakdowns between partners. This can create additional stressors, further exacerbating mental health challenges. Sleep and Child Mental Health Just as sleep is crucial for parental well-being, it's equally essential for children's mental health and development. Adequate sleep is associated with numerous benefits for children, including: Emotional Regulation : Sufficient sleep plays a vital role in emotional regulation, helping children manage their feelings and behaviors effectively. Children who get enough sleep are often more resilient to stress and less prone to mood disturbances. Cognitive Development : Sleep is essential for cognitive development in children, as it supports learning, memory consolidation, and problem-solving skills. A well-rested child is better equipped to succeed academically and socially. Behavioral Health : Sleep disturbances in children are closely linked to behavioral problems such as hyperactivity, impulsivity, and aggression. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can significantly reduce the risk of such issues. Reduced Risk of Mental Health Disorders : Research suggests that inadequate sleep during childhood is associated with an increased risk of mental health disorders later in life, including anxiety, depression, and ADHD. Strategies for Promoting Healthy Sleep Given the critical role of sleep in mental health for both parents and children, it's essential to prioritize sleep hygiene and establish healthy sleep habits. Here are some strategies to promote better sleep: Consistent Bedtime Routine: Establish a consistent bedtime routine for both parents and children. A calming bedtime routine signals to the body that it's time to wind down and prepare for sleep. Create a Sleep-Conducive Environment: Ensure that the bedroom environment is conducive to sleep . This includes keeping the room dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Limit Screen Time: Minimize screen time, especially before bedtime, as exposure to screens can interfere with melatonin production and disrupt sleep patterns. Encourage Physical Activity: Regular physical activity during the day can promote better sleep at night. Encourage children to engage in active play and ensure that parents incorporate exercise into their daily routine as well. Healthy Sleep Associations: Help children develop healthy sleep associations by associating bedtime with soothing activities such as reading or gentle music. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Teach children and parents relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or guided imagery to promote relaxation and stress relief before bedtime. Seek Professional Help When Needed: If sleep problems persist despite implementing these strategies, seek guidance from a healthcare professional or sleep specialist. You can always schedule a discovery call with me to discuss whether working with me will help your little one get a better night sleep. For parents and children alike, prioritizing sleep is essential for maintaining emotional well-being, cognitive function, and overall health. By recognizing the importance of sleep and implementing strategies to promote healthy sleep habits, parents can nurture a positive sleep environment for themselves and their children, laying the foundation for a lifetime of mental wellness.

The Sleep Journey: Nurturing Well-Rested Children from Birth to Teenage Years

By lbenjell • 24 Apr, 2024
Sleep is the cornerstone of our well-being, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. As parents, we often hear about the significance of sleep, yet understanding the specific needs of our children at different stages of their lives can be the key to ensuring they thrive. In this comprehensive guide, we'll delve into the importance of sleep for children and explore the recommended amount of sleep they need from birth into their teenage years. Birth to 12 Months: During the first year of life, sleep is not just vital; it's foundational. Infants spend a significant portion of their time sleeping, with newborns needing around 14-17 hours of sleep per day. As they grow, the total sleep hours gradually decrease, but the importance remains unchanged. Sleep is crucial for their physical growth, cognitive development, and emotional well-being. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can lay the groundwork for a lifetime of restful sleep. 1 to 3 Years Old: Toddlers are bundles of energy, constantly exploring the world around them. Despite their boundless enthusiasm, they still require ample sleep to support their rapid development. Children aged 1 to 3 years typically need about 12-14 hours of sleep per day, including naps. Consistent bedtime routines and a conducive sleep environment can help toddlers settle into a restful night's sleep, setting the stage for their busy days ahead. 4 to 6 Years Old: As children transition into preschoolers and embark on new adventures, their sleep needs evolve yet again. Preschool-aged children typically require 10-12 hours of sleep per night. Quality sleep at this stage is essential for consolidating learning, enhancing memory, and regulating emotions. Encouraging a consistent sleep schedule and minimizing screen time before bedtime can promote healthier sleep habits in young children. 7 to 12 Years Old: As children enter the school-age years, the demands of academics, extracurricular activities, and social interactions can sometimes encroach on their sleep. However, prioritizing sleep remains crucial for their overall well-being. School-aged children generally need 9-11 hours of sleep each night. Adequate sleep supports cognitive function, academic performance, and physical health. By fostering a sleep-friendly environment and promoting a regular bedtime routine, parents can help their children meet their sleep needs even amidst busy schedules. Teenage Years: The teenage years mark a period of significant change, both physically and emotionally. Amidst academic pressures, social activities, and technological distractions, teenagers often find themselves grappling with sleep deprivation. Yet, prioritizing sleep during adolescence is more critical than ever. Teenagers typically require 8-10 hours of sleep per night, yet many fall short of this recommendation. Sleep plays a vital role in adolescent development, impacting mood regulation, cognitive function, and physical health. Establishing healthy sleep habits, such as limiting caffeine intake and creating a sleep-conducive environment, can empower teenagers to prioritize rest and reap the benefits of adequate sleep. Sleep is not a luxury; it's a necessity, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. From birth through the teenage years, the importance of sleep remains constant, evolving alongside the child's changing needs. By understanding the recommended amount of sleep for each stage of childhood and implementing strategies to support healthy sleep habits, parents can empower their children to thrive and reach their full potential. If you find that your children are falling short of the recommended hours of sleep or struggling with sleep-related challenges, don't hesitate to take action. A personalized approach to addressing sleep issues can make a world of difference for your family. I invite you to book a discovery call with me at One2Sleep Consulting. Together, we can explore your family's unique sleep needs and develop a tailored plan to promote restful sleep and overall well-being for your children. Let's embark on this journey toward better sleep together. Your family's good night's sleep starts here.

Night mare or night terror?

By lbenjell • 06 Jun, 2023
You are sitting peacefully watching a movie when you hear your little one scream. It’s the middle of the night and you are convinced they are having a nightmare. But when you go check, your baby is unconsolable. It is as if they are not recognizing your presence. So was it a night mare or something else? In most cases, when sleep is disturbed, our babes are most likely having a nightmare. But sometimes, it turns out to be a night terror instead. So what’s the difference between the two and how can we help our little ones get through each one. What is a nightmare? A nightmare is a bad dream that can cause the person experiencing it fright or distress. Children generally start having nightmares between the ages of 2 and 3 years but some start as early as 2 years old. Nightmares generally happen in the REM stages of sleep or in other words in the later part of the night. A child having a nightmare can wake up and remember the content of the dream and even feel distressed as a result. What triggers a nightmare? Nightmares can be triggered by a number of things. It can be something that they are worried about, something they heard a story about or even something they watched on TV. That is why I always ask parents to do a quick audit of who their little one is spending time with and what they are watching. Something that an older cousin or sibling said in passing can really stay with the little ones. How can I help my child after a nightmare? Immediately after the episode (or in the middle of the night) soothe and comfort your baby and help them go back to sleep — however that may look like for your family. Once the initial shock/fear has passed, spend time the next day talking to your little one about the dream. Was it scary? how did it make them feel? Make sure you validate those feelings as they are very real to them but also put them in context: dreams are works of our imaginary and we can retell the narrative differently. Is there a way to turn the monster into something funny? Can the bad story in the dream have a happy ending? Help them focus on their ability to imagine good things instead of dwelling on the scary aspect of the dream. What is a night terror? Similar to a nightmare, a Night terror is a parasomnia that can disturb our kiddo’s sleep. This one happens in the deep NREM portion of sleep which means earlier in the night. A child experiencing a night terror may sleep walk or scream but may not recognize your efforts to soothe them or calm them down. The next day, your little one will have absolutely no recollection of the episode. What triggers night terrors? Night terrors can be hereditary so if someone in your family has experience with them, it might explain why your little one is having them. But night terrors can also be caused by overtiredness so offering more sleep can help reduce their frequency. How can I help my child through or after a night terror? In these cases, it is best to accompany your baby in their terror and keep them safe, without waking them. The episode will ride out and they will be out of it in a few minutes. Chatting about it the next day is probably not going to help as this is not something that they will be able to recall. Has your child experienced night terrors? I would love to hear more.
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