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Is Sleep Training the Right Choice for my Family ?

lbenjell • January 12, 2021

Signs of Readiness for Sleep Training

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

I am a sleep consultant, which means that I do believe that you can change your baby’s sleep behavior to improve both their sleep and yours.  Yes, the ability to fall asleep is innate, but somewhere along the line, for some babies, our interference as parents leads them to come to rely on us to fall asleep.  That is not to say that assisting children to sleep is wrong.  It is only something that needs to be adjusted IF and only IF it is neither working for the baby nor the parents.

What is considered an issue when it comes to sleep?

Say your baby wakes up multiple times at night and is difficult to settle. Or you have to rock them to sleep for hours before they go to bed.  Or you need to lay down with them and pretend to sleep until they fall asleep.  Now in some cases, this may not be a big deal.  If you don’t mind doing these things for your kiddo, then no need to read on.  But in some cases, this goes on for so long and becomes so difficult that parents become sleep deprived.  And sleep deprivation jeopardises our ability to properly care for our children:  after all, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

What is sleep training?

Enter Sleep Training.   Sleep training is shaping or changing our children’s sleep habits.  We pick a method to replace what is currently happening (rocking, bouncing, patting), with what we would like to see happen (i.e. more independent sleep).

What does it involve?

As we work to allow our children to acquire more independent sleep habits and learn to sleep without our assistance, we can make this process easier for them by meeting their sleep needs and installing a healthy foundation for sleep.  This can be done by:

a) Providing them with an environment that is conducive to sleep
b) Aligning their sleep schedule with their developmental needs
c) Creating a consistent sleep routine that they can rely on
d) Choosing a sleep training method and consistently applying it

What do I mean by choosing a sleep training method though?  It’s actually not as scary as it sounds.  It just means that instead of bouncing baby to sleep, how will you put them to bed?  Often, children that rely on their parents to sleep end up in the crib already asleep so our new objective becomes to put them in the crib awake, at the moment at which they are most ready for sleep.  Ever heard of drowsy but awake?  That’s what I’m talking about here.

I’ll be honest, this will not be easy.  And while the choice of method is important, what is even more important is our ability as parents to apply that method consistently, even at 4 am.  Because let’s be fair to our children, if we keep changing the way we respond to them, it will take them that much longer to understand and adapt to the new habits we are trying to set up.

But it is also important to keep in mind that our children’s temperament matters.  There are so many sleep training methods out there, from the “cold turkey” style ones to ones that are so gradual it could take months before you see any significant changes.  But your baby may not be a “cold turkey” kind of personality and may need more gentle nudging.  Or the opposite, all your efforts to be gradual may just be getting in their way of learning to sleep.

Does my family need to do sleep training ?

Now that you know what sleep training is, should you do it?  Will it solve your sleep woes?  Only you can answer that question.  Always remember that sleep training is a CHOICE, not an obligation.  No family absolutely has to sleep train.  And no family has to feel bad about sleep training their children.  The most common sleep issues that I help families work through is eliminating sleep crutches.  Some of the most common ones include: rocking to sleep, feeding to sleep, continually replacing the pacifier, bouncing or holding to sleep and co-sleeping.   However, you may be doing any or all of the above and not have a problem with it.  For you, my friend, sleep training is not necessary.

What should I do prior to sleep training?

So say you have made up your mind: you will sleep train your little one. Can you do anything to prepare before night 1?  Well yes, there is! For you as a parent, make sure you have a solid plan that you understand and feel comfortable with.  I would also encourage you to be on the same page as your spouse or other caregivers and have their support.  Because these are all things that will help you stay consistent throughout the process, during the wins and the difficult times.

For the sake of stability and consistency, make sure that during your sleep training efforts, you have no plans that would cause you to change your child’s sleep environment.  I encourage you to choose a 2-4 week period in which there is little or no traveling, and minimal changes to routine.  Meaning don’t start sleep training if you are planning to move houses in a week!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, a well rested child is more adaptable so make sure you offer extra sleep to your kiddo prior to sleep training.  Not only will your baby learn to self settle much quicker, their resistance will also be much less aggressive.  Also, if you suspect any teething or illness, it is better to put your sleep training plans on hold.

What are the benefits?

What’s my favorite thing about having sleep trained my kids?  Besides the fact that we are all well rested and sleep well at night, if they are ever up at night and call out for me, I know that they need something from me and I can respond accordingly.  It removes all the guesswork of: are they just trying to fall back asleep or are they in pain/scared and really need my assistance?

Besides that, I can’t begin to tell you how many benefits I have reaped from sleep training.  In fact, I made a career out of it because I just wanted to shout those benefits out from the rooftop and tell everyone.  My kids have a predictable routine and go to bed early.  Which means that my husband and I have plenty of time to watch movies, discuss family matters without constant interruption and even go out to dinner knowing that our kids will sleep soundly in the care of the sitter.  My kids are happier, well rested and more adaptable to changes that we bring their way, whether that’s during a trip or after moving houses.  And I can respond better to my children’s needs because my sleep needs are met.  And these are just the most obvious reasons. There are so many more!

Snug and Safe: How Baby Sleep Bags Protect Your Little One

By Guest author: Belinda Kirk • October 7, 2024
October is SIDS Awareness Month, dedicated to raising awareness about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. It’s a time to educate parents and caregivers on safe sleep practices that can reduce the risk and help protect our little ones.. At Hushabye, safety is at the heart of our brand. Our focus is on providing parents with safe and high-quality baby sleepwear, such as sleep bags, that offer a safer alternative to traditional blankets. What is a baby sleep bag? A baby sleep bag, also known as a wearable blanket or sleep sack, is a specially designed garment for infants and young children to wear during sleep. The primary purpose of a sleep bag is to keep the baby warm and comfortable, but it also serves as a safe and convenient alternative to traditional blankets and quilts in a crib or cot.

The Vital Link Between Sleep and Mental Health: A Guide for Parents and Kids

By lbenjell • May 20, 2024
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, sleep often takes a back seat to other priorities. Yet, the importance of sleep for mental health cannot be overstated, especially for parents and their children. From infancy through adulthood, sleep plays a crucial role in maintaining emotional stability, cognitive function, and overall well-being. Let’s delve into the intricate relationship between sleep and mental health, exploring its significance for both parents and kids. Understanding Sleep: The Foundation of Mental Health Sleep is not merely a passive state of rest; it's a dynamic process that facilitates vital functions for physical and mental health. During sleep, the brain consolidates memories, processes emotions, and regulates various physiological processes. For children, especially infants and toddlers, sleep is paramount for healthy growth and development. It's during sleep that their brains form crucial neural connections, essential for learning and behavior regulation. Sleep and Parental Mental Health For parents, particularly those with young children, sleep deprivation is often a common occurrence. The demands of caring for a newborn or attending to the needs of a growing child can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to chronic sleep deficits. This chronic sleep deprivation can take a toll on parental mental health in several ways: Increased Stress and Anxiety : Sleep-deprived parents often experience heightened stress levels and anxiety. The constant fatigue and inability to get adequate rest can exacerbate feelings of overwhelm and tension. Impaired Cognitive Function : Lack of sleep impairs cognitive function, making it difficult for parents to concentrate, make decisions, and problem-solve effectively. This can further contribute to feelings of inadequacy and frustration. Mood Disorders : Chronic sleep deprivation is linked to an increased risk of mood disorders such as depression and irritability. Parents may find themselves more prone to mood swings and emotional instability, impacting their ability to nurture a positive environment for their children. Strained Relationships : Sleep deprivation can strain relationships, leading to conflicts and communication breakdowns between partners. This can create additional stressors, further exacerbating mental health challenges. Sleep and Child Mental Health Just as sleep is crucial for parental well-being, it's equally essential for children's mental health and development. Adequate sleep is associated with numerous benefits for children, including: Emotional Regulation : Sufficient sleep plays a vital role in emotional regulation, helping children manage their feelings and behaviors effectively. Children who get enough sleep are often more resilient to stress and less prone to mood disturbances. Cognitive Development : Sleep is essential for cognitive development in children, as it supports learning, memory consolidation, and problem-solving skills. A well-rested child is better equipped to succeed academically and socially. Behavioral Health : Sleep disturbances in children are closely linked to behavioral problems such as hyperactivity, impulsivity, and aggression. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can significantly reduce the risk of such issues. Reduced Risk of Mental Health Disorders : Research suggests that inadequate sleep during childhood is associated with an increased risk of mental health disorders later in life, including anxiety, depression, and ADHD. Strategies for Promoting Healthy Sleep Given the critical role of sleep in mental health for both parents and children, it's essential to prioritize sleep hygiene and establish healthy sleep habits. Here are some strategies to promote better sleep: Consistent Bedtime Routine: Establish a consistent bedtime routine for both parents and children. A calming bedtime routine signals to the body that it's time to wind down and prepare for sleep. Create a Sleep-Conducive Environment: Ensure that the bedroom environment is conducive to sleep . This includes keeping the room dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Limit Screen Time: Minimize screen time, especially before bedtime, as exposure to screens can interfere with melatonin production and disrupt sleep patterns. Encourage Physical Activity: Regular physical activity during the day can promote better sleep at night. Encourage children to engage in active play and ensure that parents incorporate exercise into their daily routine as well. Healthy Sleep Associations: Help children develop healthy sleep associations by associating bedtime with soothing activities such as reading or gentle music. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Teach children and parents relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or guided imagery to promote relaxation and stress relief before bedtime. Seek Professional Help When Needed: If sleep problems persist despite implementing these strategies, seek guidance from a healthcare professional or sleep specialist. You can always schedule a discovery call with me to discuss whether working with me will help your little one get a better night sleep. For parents and children alike, prioritizing sleep is essential for maintaining emotional well-being, cognitive function, and overall health. By recognizing the importance of sleep and implementing strategies to promote healthy sleep habits, parents can nurture a positive sleep environment for themselves and their children, laying the foundation for a lifetime of mental wellness.

The Sleep Journey: Nurturing Well-Rested Children from Birth to Teenage Years

By lbenjell • April 24, 2024
Sleep is the cornerstone of our well-being, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. As parents, we often hear about the significance of sleep, yet understanding the specific needs of our children at different stages of their lives can be the key to ensuring they thrive. In this comprehensive guide, we'll delve into the importance of sleep for children and explore the recommended amount of sleep they need from birth into their teenage years. Birth to 12 Months: During the first year of life, sleep is not just vital; it's foundational. Infants spend a significant portion of their time sleeping, with newborns needing around 14-17 hours of sleep per day. As they grow, the total sleep hours gradually decrease, but the importance remains unchanged. Sleep is crucial for their physical growth, cognitive development, and emotional well-being. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can lay the groundwork for a lifetime of restful sleep. 1 to 3 Years Old: Toddlers are bundles of energy, constantly exploring the world around them. Despite their boundless enthusiasm, they still require ample sleep to support their rapid development. Children aged 1 to 3 years typically need about 12-14 hours of sleep per day, including naps. Consistent bedtime routines and a conducive sleep environment can help toddlers settle into a restful night's sleep, setting the stage for their busy days ahead. 4 to 6 Years Old: As children transition into preschoolers and embark on new adventures, their sleep needs evolve yet again. Preschool-aged children typically require 10-12 hours of sleep per night. Quality sleep at this stage is essential for consolidating learning, enhancing memory, and regulating emotions. Encouraging a consistent sleep schedule and minimizing screen time before bedtime can promote healthier sleep habits in young children. 7 to 12 Years Old: As children enter the school-age years, the demands of academics, extracurricular activities, and social interactions can sometimes encroach on their sleep. However, prioritizing sleep remains crucial for their overall well-being. School-aged children generally need 9-11 hours of sleep each night. Adequate sleep supports cognitive function, academic performance, and physical health. By fostering a sleep-friendly environment and promoting a regular bedtime routine, parents can help their children meet their sleep needs even amidst busy schedules. Teenage Years: The teenage years mark a period of significant change, both physically and emotionally. Amidst academic pressures, social activities, and technological distractions, teenagers often find themselves grappling with sleep deprivation. Yet, prioritizing sleep during adolescence is more critical than ever. Teenagers typically require 8-10 hours of sleep per night, yet many fall short of this recommendation. Sleep plays a vital role in adolescent development, impacting mood regulation, cognitive function, and physical health. Establishing healthy sleep habits, such as limiting caffeine intake and creating a sleep-conducive environment, can empower teenagers to prioritize rest and reap the benefits of adequate sleep. Sleep is not a luxury; it's a necessity, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. From birth through the teenage years, the importance of sleep remains constant, evolving alongside the child's changing needs. By understanding the recommended amount of sleep for each stage of childhood and implementing strategies to support healthy sleep habits, parents can empower their children to thrive and reach their full potential. If you find that your children are falling short of the recommended hours of sleep or struggling with sleep-related challenges, don't hesitate to take action. A personalized approach to addressing sleep issues can make a world of difference for your family. I invite you to book a discovery call with me at One2Sleep Consulting. Together, we can explore your family's unique sleep needs and develop a tailored plan to promote restful sleep and overall well-being for your children. Let's embark on this journey toward better sleep together. Your family's good night's sleep starts here.
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