When you want to make positive changes to your child’s sleep, there are a few foundational pieces you want in place – a
safe sleep environment
conducive to sleep, an
age-appropriate schedule
for your child, and ensuring all of your child’s nutritional and emotional needs are met.
One of the best ways to prepare your child’s body for sleep is by creating a consistent bedtime routine. If the idea of a consistent bedtime routine is new to you, I want you to know that it doesn’t need to be an elaborate routine.
In fact, when I first started creating my son’s bedtime routine, we started with just a bedtime story, because I knew
reading before bed has many benefits, like vocabulary development. Then, we built around that and expanded what we did each night.
Regardless of whether you already have a strong bedtime routine in place, or whether you consider yourself lucky if your child manages to get into their pajamas each night before they fall asleep, we’ll go over what a good bedtime routine consists of and how to build one that works for your family.
Remember that as you build your child’s bedtime routine, keep it simple to start – things you’re able to consistently do. Then in time, you can add to it.
Why is a bedtime routine important?
Bedtime routines serve four major purposes:
- They give your child a chance to wind down from their activities
- They provide a strong, clear cue that bedtime is coming
- They allow time to sit and be with your child
- They offer an opportunity to fill your child’s emotional tank
Each of these elements is important for setting a good sleep foundation, so let’s explore each one.
Bedtime routines allow your child to wind down
When we think about our child’s sleep needs, we want to consider offering a transitional period for them to calm down before going to bed.
Just as we don’t jump into bed right after running errands all day, our children shouldn’t be expected to immediately go to bed after playing outside or being engaged in other activities. Chances are, their bodies just won’t be ready for that.
When you have a bedtime routine, it offers a clear transition from fun and play to calm and relaxing, making sure that your child is ready for the sleep ahead.
Bedtime routines provide a strong cue that sleep is coming
One of the benefits of a bedtime routine is that it alerts your child’s body that sleep is coming. When you do the same activities each night, your child’s body receives a signal that it needs to begin producing the appropriate hormones needed for sleep.
Not only will your child’s body begin to prepare for sleep, but knowing what to expect can help
prevent bedtime battles
with your little ones.
Bedtime routines give you a chance to sit and be with your child
If you work away from your children throughout the day, having a chance to be with them before they go to bed is likely a much welcomed activity.
Even for parents who stay at home with their children all day, being able to sit with your child after the chaos of the day is a great way to build a strong connection with them.
A good bedtime routine allows for that special bonding time, which is beneficial to both parent and child.
Bedtime routines offer an opportunity to fill your child's emotional tank
Before expecting your child to sleep all night, you want to make sure you’ve filled their emotional tank. For children who are moving away from co-sleeping in their parents’ bed to sleeping in their own space, it can be hard to ask them to sleep 12 hours alone suddenly.
Even for children who do sleep alone but are used to being around people all day, it’s a big change to go from constant touch, support, and communication to being alone.
Spending time cuddling and hugging your little one during the bedtime routine can give you the confidence and reassurance that their tank is filled, and that they can sleep all night and look forward to seeing you in the morning.
How do you build a bedtime routine?
Now that we know why each element of the bedtime routine is important, it’s time to build a routine that works for your child and family.
To build a solid bedtime routine, we want to focus on each of the 4 elements above.
Winding Down
To help your child begin to wind down, you can begin with a bath or, if you don’t bathe your child every night, you can wash your child’s hands and face. Then, change them into a clean diaper and pajamas, and for older kids, brush their teeth.
If your little one still drinks milk, now is the perfect time to offer it. By offering milk at the beginning of the bedtime routine, we’re allowing a nice buffer to prevent a feed-sleep association from developing. As a side note, if your little one is drinking milk, consider brushing their teeth after they finish their bottle to ensure proper dental hygiene.
Bonding Activity
Next, we want to do a bonding activity. We’ll want to keep things calm and not too stimulating during the bedtime routine, so things like reading books, singing songs, saying prayers, or even saying goodnight to all of their toys is a great option.
For older children, talking about their day and asking them about their favorite moments is a nice way to end the day on a positive note.
Fill Their Emotional Tank
Throughout the bedtime routine, I always encourage my clients to offer lots of hugs, cuddles, and kisses. This is the time to fill your child’s emotional tank before they head off to sleep for the night, so get creative!
I know some people assume that when you sleep train your child, you lose out on the bonding experience. But just because your child is able to fall asleep independently doesn’t mean you can’t hold, hug, and cuddle them ever again. Expecting them to sleep all night doesn’t mean that bond needs to be erased.
Remain Consistent
It’s nice to have predictability, so staying consistent each night will help your child anticipate what’s to come and offer them security and stability.
If you know that creating a strong routine is something that would benefit your family but you feel stuck and unsure how to begin,
book a call with me today! When I work 1:1 with families, creating a bedtime routine that is personalized to their unique needs is one part of the process.
Let’s
chat today
to get started on better nights ahead!