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How to Build a Bedtime Routine

• Aug 08, 2022
When you want to make positive changes to your child’s sleep, there are a few foundational pieces you want in place – a safe sleep environment conducive to sleep, an age-appropriate schedule for your child, and ensuring all of your child’s nutritional and emotional needs are met.

One of the best ways to prepare your child’s body for sleep is by creating a consistent bedtime routine. If the idea of a consistent bedtime routine is new to you, I want you to know that it doesn’t need to be an elaborate routine.

In fact, when I first started creating my son’s bedtime routine, we started with just a bedtime story, because I knew reading before bed has many benefits, like vocabulary development. Then, we built around that and expanded what we did each night.

Regardless of whether you already have a strong bedtime routine in place, or whether you consider yourself lucky if your child manages to get into their pajamas each night before they fall asleep, we’ll go over what a good bedtime routine consists of and how to build one that works for your family.

Remember that as you build your child’s bedtime routine, keep it simple to start – things you’re able to consistently do. Then in time, you can add to it.

Why is a bedtime routine important?

Bedtime routines serve four major purposes:

  • They give your child a chance to wind down from their activities
  • They provide a strong, clear cue that bedtime is coming
  • They allow time to sit and be with your child
  • They offer an opportunity to fill your child’s emotional tank

Each of these elements is important for setting a good sleep foundation, so let’s explore each one.

Bedtime routines allow your child to wind down

When we think about our child’s sleep needs, we want to consider offering a transitional period for them to calm down before going to bed.

Just as we don’t jump into bed right after running errands all day, our children shouldn’t be expected to immediately go to bed after playing outside or being engaged in other activities. Chances are, their bodies just won’t be ready for that.

When you have a bedtime routine, it offers a clear transition from fun and play to calm and relaxing, making sure that your child is ready for the sleep ahead.

Bedtime routines provide a strong cue that sleep is coming

One of the benefits of a bedtime routine is that it alerts your child’s body that sleep is coming. When you do the same activities each night, your child’s body receives a signal that it needs to begin producing the appropriate hormones needed for sleep. 

Not only will your child’s body begin to prepare for sleep, but knowing what to expect can help prevent bedtime battles with your little ones. 

Bedtime routines give you a chance to sit and be with your child

If you work away from your children throughout the day, having a chance to be with them before they go to bed is likely a much welcomed activity.

Even for parents who stay at home with their children all day, being able to sit with your child after the chaos of the day is a great way to build a strong connection with them.

A good bedtime routine allows for that special bonding time, which is beneficial to both parent and child.

Bedtime routines offer an opportunity to fill your child's emotional tank

Before expecting your child to sleep all night, you want to make sure you’ve filled their emotional tank. For children who are moving away from co-sleeping in their parents’ bed to sleeping in their own space, it can be hard to ask them to sleep 12 hours alone suddenly. 

Even for children who do sleep alone but are used to being around people all day, it’s a big change to go from constant touch, support, and communication to being alone.

Spending time cuddling and hugging your little one during the bedtime routine can give you the confidence and reassurance that their tank is filled, and that they can sleep all night and look forward to seeing you in the morning.

How do you build a bedtime routine?

Now that we know why each element of the bedtime routine is important, it’s time to build a routine that works for your child and family.

To build a solid bedtime routine, we want to focus on each of the 4 elements above.

Winding Down

To help your child begin to wind down, you can begin with a bath or, if you don’t bathe your child every night, you can wash your child’s hands and face. Then, change them into a clean diaper and pajamas, and for older kids, brush their teeth.

If your little one still drinks milk, now is the perfect time to offer it. By offering milk at the beginning of the bedtime routine, we’re allowing a nice buffer to prevent a feed-sleep association from developing. As a side note, if your little one is drinking milk, consider brushing their teeth after they finish their bottle to ensure proper dental hygiene.

Bonding Activity

Next, we want to do a bonding activity. We’ll want to keep things calm and not too stimulating during the bedtime routine, so things like reading books, singing songs, saying prayers, or even saying goodnight to all of their toys is a great option.

For older children, talking about their day and asking them about their favorite moments is a nice way to end the day on a positive note.

Fill Their Emotional Tank

Throughout the bedtime routine, I always encourage my clients to offer lots of hugs, cuddles, and kisses. This is the time to fill your child’s emotional tank before they head off to sleep for the night, so get creative! 

I know some people assume that when you sleep train your child, you lose out on the bonding experience. But just because your child is able to fall asleep independently doesn’t mean you can’t hold, hug, and cuddle them ever again. Expecting them to sleep all night doesn’t mean that bond needs to be erased. 

Remain Consistent

It’s nice to have predictability, so staying consistent each night will help your child anticipate what’s to come and offer them security and stability.

If you know that creating a strong routine is something that would benefit your family but you feel stuck and unsure how to begin, book a call with me today! When I work 1:1 with families, creating a bedtime routine that is personalized to their unique needs is one part of the process.

Let’s chat today to get started on better nights ahead!

By lbenjell 20 May, 2024
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, sleep often takes a back seat to other priorities. Yet, the importance of sleep for mental health cannot be overstated, especially for parents and their children. From infancy through adulthood, sleep plays a crucial role in maintaining emotional stability, cognitive function, and overall well-being. Let’s delve into the intricate relationship between sleep and mental health, exploring its significance for both parents and kids. Understanding Sleep: The Foundation of Mental Health Sleep is not merely a passive state of rest; it's a dynamic process that facilitates vital functions for physical and mental health. During sleep, the brain consolidates memories, processes emotions, and regulates various physiological processes. For children, especially infants and toddlers, sleep is paramount for healthy growth and development. It's during sleep that their brains form crucial neural connections, essential for learning and behavior regulation. Sleep and Parental Mental Health For parents, particularly those with young children, sleep deprivation is often a common occurrence. The demands of caring for a newborn or attending to the needs of a growing child can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to chronic sleep deficits. This chronic sleep deprivation can take a toll on parental mental health in several ways: Increased Stress and Anxiety : Sleep-deprived parents often experience heightened stress levels and anxiety. The constant fatigue and inability to get adequate rest can exacerbate feelings of overwhelm and tension. Impaired Cognitive Function : Lack of sleep impairs cognitive function, making it difficult for parents to concentrate, make decisions, and problem-solve effectively. This can further contribute to feelings of inadequacy and frustration. Mood Disorders : Chronic sleep deprivation is linked to an increased risk of mood disorders such as depression and irritability. Parents may find themselves more prone to mood swings and emotional instability, impacting their ability to nurture a positive environment for their children. Strained Relationships : Sleep deprivation can strain relationships, leading to conflicts and communication breakdowns between partners. This can create additional stressors, further exacerbating mental health challenges. Sleep and Child Mental Health Just as sleep is crucial for parental well-being, it's equally essential for children's mental health and development. Adequate sleep is associated with numerous benefits for children, including: Emotional Regulation : Sufficient sleep plays a vital role in emotional regulation, helping children manage their feelings and behaviors effectively. Children who get enough sleep are often more resilient to stress and less prone to mood disturbances. Cognitive Development : Sleep is essential for cognitive development in children, as it supports learning, memory consolidation, and problem-solving skills. A well-rested child is better equipped to succeed academically and socially. Behavioral Health : Sleep disturbances in children are closely linked to behavioral problems such as hyperactivity, impulsivity, and aggression. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can significantly reduce the risk of such issues. Reduced Risk of Mental Health Disorders : Research suggests that inadequate sleep during childhood is associated with an increased risk of mental health disorders later in life, including anxiety, depression, and ADHD. Strategies for Promoting Healthy Sleep Given the critical role of sleep in mental health for both parents and children, it's essential to prioritize sleep hygiene and establish healthy sleep habits. Here are some strategies to promote better sleep: Consistent Bedtime Routine: Establish a consistent bedtime routine for both parents and children. A calming bedtime routine signals to the body that it's time to wind down and prepare for sleep. Create a Sleep-Conducive Environment: Ensure that the bedroom environment is conducive to sleep . This includes keeping the room dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Limit Screen Time: Minimize screen time, especially before bedtime, as exposure to screens can interfere with melatonin production and disrupt sleep patterns. Encourage Physical Activity: Regular physical activity during the day can promote better sleep at night. Encourage children to engage in active play and ensure that parents incorporate exercise into their daily routine as well. Healthy Sleep Associations: Help children develop healthy sleep associations by associating bedtime with soothing activities such as reading or gentle music. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Teach children and parents relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or guided imagery to promote relaxation and stress relief before bedtime. Seek Professional Help When Needed: If sleep problems persist despite implementing these strategies, seek guidance from a healthcare professional or sleep specialist. You can always schedule a discovery call with me to discuss whether working with me will help your little one get a better night sleep. For parents and children alike, prioritizing sleep is essential for maintaining emotional well-being, cognitive function, and overall health. By recognizing the importance of sleep and implementing strategies to promote healthy sleep habits, parents can nurture a positive sleep environment for themselves and their children, laying the foundation for a lifetime of mental wellness.
By lbenjell 24 Apr, 2024
Sleep is the cornerstone of our well-being, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. As parents, we often hear about the significance of sleep, yet understanding the specific needs of our children at different stages of their lives can be the key to ensuring they thrive. In this comprehensive guide, we'll delve into the importance of sleep for children and explore the recommended amount of sleep they need from birth into their teenage years. Birth to 12 Months: During the first year of life, sleep is not just vital; it's foundational. Infants spend a significant portion of their time sleeping, with newborns needing around 14-17 hours of sleep per day. As they grow, the total sleep hours gradually decrease, but the importance remains unchanged. Sleep is crucial for their physical growth, cognitive development, and emotional well-being. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can lay the groundwork for a lifetime of restful sleep. 1 to 3 Years Old: Toddlers are bundles of energy, constantly exploring the world around them. Despite their boundless enthusiasm, they still require ample sleep to support their rapid development. Children aged 1 to 3 years typically need about 12-14 hours of sleep per day, including naps. Consistent bedtime routines and a conducive sleep environment can help toddlers settle into a restful night's sleep, setting the stage for their busy days ahead. 4 to 6 Years Old: As children transition into preschoolers and embark on new adventures, their sleep needs evolve yet again. Preschool-aged children typically require 10-12 hours of sleep per night. Quality sleep at this stage is essential for consolidating learning, enhancing memory, and regulating emotions. Encouraging a consistent sleep schedule and minimizing screen time before bedtime can promote healthier sleep habits in young children. 7 to 12 Years Old: As children enter the school-age years, the demands of academics, extracurricular activities, and social interactions can sometimes encroach on their sleep. However, prioritizing sleep remains crucial for their overall well-being. School-aged children generally need 9-11 hours of sleep each night. Adequate sleep supports cognitive function, academic performance, and physical health. By fostering a sleep-friendly environment and promoting a regular bedtime routine, parents can help their children meet their sleep needs even amidst busy schedules. Teenage Years: The teenage years mark a period of significant change, both physically and emotionally. Amidst academic pressures, social activities, and technological distractions, teenagers often find themselves grappling with sleep deprivation. Yet, prioritizing sleep during adolescence is more critical than ever. Teenagers typically require 8-10 hours of sleep per night, yet many fall short of this recommendation. Sleep plays a vital role in adolescent development, impacting mood regulation, cognitive function, and physical health. Establishing healthy sleep habits, such as limiting caffeine intake and creating a sleep-conducive environment, can empower teenagers to prioritize rest and reap the benefits of adequate sleep. Sleep is not a luxury; it's a necessity, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. From birth through the teenage years, the importance of sleep remains constant, evolving alongside the child's changing needs. By understanding the recommended amount of sleep for each stage of childhood and implementing strategies to support healthy sleep habits, parents can empower their children to thrive and reach their full potential. If you find that your children are falling short of the recommended hours of sleep or struggling with sleep-related challenges, don't hesitate to take action. A personalized approach to addressing sleep issues can make a world of difference for your family. I invite you to book a discovery call with me at One2Sleep Consulting. Together, we can explore your family's unique sleep needs and develop a tailored plan to promote restful sleep and overall well-being for your children. Let's embark on this journey toward better sleep together. Your family's good night's sleep starts here.
By lbenjell 06 Jun, 2023
You are sitting peacefully watching a movie when you hear your little one scream. It’s the middle of the night and you are convinced they are having a nightmare. But when you go check, your baby is unconsolable. It is as if they are not recognizing your presence. So was it a night mare or something else? In most cases, when sleep is disturbed, our babes are most likely having a nightmare. But sometimes, it turns out to be a night terror instead. So what’s the difference between the two and how can we help our little ones get through each one. What is a nightmare? A nightmare is a bad dream that can cause the person experiencing it fright or distress. Children generally start having nightmares between the ages of 2 and 3 years but some start as early as 2 years old. Nightmares generally happen in the REM stages of sleep or in other words in the later part of the night. A child having a nightmare can wake up and remember the content of the dream and even feel distressed as a result. What triggers a nightmare? Nightmares can be triggered by a number of things. It can be something that they are worried about, something they heard a story about or even something they watched on TV. That is why I always ask parents to do a quick audit of who their little one is spending time with and what they are watching. Something that an older cousin or sibling said in passing can really stay with the little ones. How can I help my child after a nightmare? Immediately after the episode (or in the middle of the night) soothe and comfort your baby and help them go back to sleep — however that may look like for your family. Once the initial shock/fear has passed, spend time the next day talking to your little one about the dream. Was it scary? how did it make them feel? Make sure you validate those feelings as they are very real to them but also put them in context: dreams are works of our imaginary and we can retell the narrative differently. Is there a way to turn the monster into something funny? Can the bad story in the dream have a happy ending? Help them focus on their ability to imagine good things instead of dwelling on the scary aspect of the dream. What is a night terror? Similar to a nightmare, a Night terror is a parasomnia that can disturb our kiddo’s sleep. This one happens in the deep NREM portion of sleep which means earlier in the night. A child experiencing a night terror may sleep walk or scream but may not recognize your efforts to soothe them or calm them down. The next day, your little one will have absolutely no recollection of the episode. What triggers night terrors? Night terrors can be hereditary so if someone in your family has experience with them, it might explain why your little one is having them. But night terrors can also be caused by overtiredness so offering more sleep can help reduce their frequency. How can I help my child through or after a night terror? In these cases, it is best to accompany your baby in their terror and keep them safe, without waking them. The episode will ride out and they will be out of it in a few minutes. Chatting about it the next day is probably not going to help as this is not something that they will be able to recall. Has your child experienced night terrors? I would love to hear more.
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